Exxon refinery is about to get wacked by the eye of the 'cane

Americans,

This was a great country for 250 years. It is with great sorrow that I inform you that a hurricane is about to destroy the refinery which produces 20% of all of your oil. If you examine the track of the hurricane and then view the satellite imagery of the track, then you will see that Port Arthur is directly in the path of the hurricane.

Don't let the government take advantage of this exclusive situation. Stand up for the constitution of the United States of America and the rights of every human being. I have no doubt that the government will take advantage of this situation.

America is made up of simple folk that are kind and generous. If the government can't help us out, we will help each other out. We will make it through this on our own. We will go it alone like the last string of National catastrophes.

We watched the tragedy unfold. We did as we were told, we bought and sold. It was the greatest show on earth, but then it was over. We oohed and ahhed. We drove our racing cars. We ate our last few jars of caviar. But somewhere out there in the stars, a keen eyed lookout spied a flickering light; our last hurah.

And when they found our shadown grouped 'round the TV set, they ran down every lead. They repeated every test. They checked out all of the data on their list, and then, the alien antropologists admitted they were still perplexed. But on eleminating every other reason for our sad demise; the one, the only explanation is that this species has amused itself to death.