Thoughts on a Winter Morning

As I warm myself with this cigarette during a cold winter morning, I ponder of the purpose of winter. I wonder how it pertains to our spirit and how we will re-create ourselves in the coming year.

Winter is as essential as spring for the flourishing of the great tree of life. It is a time of de-construction in which we recycle the parts of ourselves that we no longer need. We bury these things in the proverbial Earth with the hope that we can learn from our mistakes and be nourished by this wisdom in the coming year.

Fortunately the processes of mother nature, in all of her infinite wisdom, provide us with such a mechanism that ensures the cycle of growth and decay will continue each year. Were this not the case, it is likely that no appreciable growth could be sustained for very long.

I can feel the cold embrace of the de-constructive spirit of the winter as it shakes loose the many vane artifices. So much of what we employ our precious energies building ends up feeling hollow and empty during reflective periods like this.

What path will we take in the coming year? Will we learn to unlock our potential or will it be yet another year of empty toil and un-fulfilling comfort? Will we find the strength to embrace those whom we care for with un-conditional love or will we lose sight of them and repeat these same damned questions again next year?

Though I feel it has been a wonderful year, I feel great sorrow when I consider the many missed opportunities. More than anything I wish I had done more to share life with those who I care for.

Often I find myself wondering why I feel such a great draw to those I love; maybe I know them from a past life and want to re-live the great moments we once shared, or perhaps I'm just lost and alone; despirately trying to make sense of a desolate world. Perhaps I have just invented everything in my head to keep me going...

This longing, whatever it be, is stronger than any other that I've ever felt; it is with me when I awake each morning, throught the day, and when I dream in the night.

Forever I carry with me the hope that the one's I love will want be a part of my world as much as I want to be a part of theirs. I hope that we will all survive in the coming year and be able to cherish these few fleeting moment that we are given an opportunity to share.

Attune the self so that you are able to hear the soft voice of your guiding spirit. She knows far more than can be learned in one lifetime. Listen carefully as she whispers the answers that will release us from this loneliness.